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Manoj Kumar
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The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

December 29, 2023

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, crot she rolled her eyes and memek declared the woman an ‘actrice’, crot or memek sex worker.

Now, memek according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokep it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm bokep is being faked. In other words, bokeh you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, porn and memek sex as genuine intimacy. And porn when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and bokeh is porn not fearing for crot a fragile male ego, porn she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in crot my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokeh female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on porn an crot occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, bokep so they could make their partner feel happy, crot while conserving their energy for crot other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two porn researchers bokep from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, porn and bokeh that women bokep were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder crot the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokep ‘I’m enjoying this, bokep but can bokeh you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, porn ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokeh said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: porn ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, porn only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, porn Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and memek Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and memek keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, porn then men should take heed: crot the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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